Two Years Later, In My Empty Nest

Apparently, time flies when you're in an empty nest...somehow it's been two years since we dropped Thomas off for his first semester of college.

He's doing great, which I never doubted.  He just started his last year of undergrad, and next fall he'll begin his veterinary medicine program.  He loves it there, and there's no question that he's where he belongs.  Conner is also a rock star.  He's got a new job with huge responsibility...and a big, shiny truck to show for all that hard work. I'm so proud of both of them...I feel like I might burst some days.

Clearly, they're doing just fine.  But what about me?

I won't lie and tell you that I'm used to it now, or that I love being an empty nester.  Every time they walk out the door after coming home, my heart breaks all over again.  If I had my way, they'd be 10 and 8 forever, safe under my wing where I could protect them and do all the things that mama's do.  I miss them like crazy, and some days I still catch my breath when I realize they won't be home for dinner, that I can't hug them whenever I want.  But that's not the way life goes.

And it does get easier, as time passes.  I'm getting used to the new normal.  There's less crying, less sadness.  I've realized that it's okay to feel all the feels whenever I want to feel them.  I put everything I had into these human beings for over twenty years, and that doesn't stop just because it's time for them to move on.

For the record, there are some definite perks to an emptier house.  There's very little laundry and fewer trips to the grocery store.  I get more sleep and much more time for me.  George and I are having a blast, trying new things and having fun being together, just the two of us again.  

So what have I learned these past two years?  Mostly that worrying and feeling a little sad will never completely go away.  Pieces of my heart are still walking around outside my body, and that will be true until the day I die.

But they'll always come back.  Maybe not in the same way, and not for as long as forever, but we're friends now.  They call and check in, and they still need me.  In a different way, but still.  And I won't stop being their biggest cheerleader or a shoulder to cry on when they've had a bad day.  Just from a bit more distance sometimes.

Yep, they're doing just fine.  And I'm doing okay too.

To see my post from the day we dropped Thomas off at school, go here.