Today I'm linking up with Elaine at Miss Elaine-ous Life for some Old School Blogging. The theme this month is I Am. I thought this was going to be really hard, but apparently I needed to vent a little.
I am....tired. So, so tired. I spent fourteen hours on Saturday setting up and working our high school Booster Club golf tournament. We started at 8am under drizzly, chilly conditions, but by noon things cleared up. I got in my car to go home at 10pm, and it was the first time I sat down all day. Since then, I've realized that I'm getting too old to spend that many hours on my feet.
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I hear...children playing outside. No one new has moved into my neighborhood for years, and all of the kids are teenagers or older. Must be friends visiting someone. It's a lovely sound, and I wish I had their energy.
I see...sunshine. The next week is supposed to be sunny and warm. Finally.
I want...a BBQ hamburger for dinner. My friend Deena shared some delicious recipes on her blog today (BBQ pizza!) and now I'm craving BBQ.
I am...too tired to make said burger, so I'll probably have a sandwich instead.
I pretend...sometimes that my parents still live nearby, instead of in Arizona. My mom is visiting for two weeks and I love having her here.
I feel...angry and sad that they moved away.
I touch...upon these feelings when she's visiting. The rest of the time I try to get over it.
I worry...about them being so far from us if they have an emergency. There are no family or friends nearby to help.
I cry...when she leaves. It will probably be months before I see her again.
I am...a daughter, forever.
I understand...that kids grow up and life goes on.
I say...all the things I'm supposed to. I'm excited for my boys, and so proud of them. But I can't help wishing I could turn back the clock a little bit.
I dream...of what their future holds. Where will they be in ten years? Will they fall in love? Find fulfilling careers?
I try...to picture what my life will look like once I'm not being a parent twenty four hours a day. I can't picture it yet.
I hope...above all else, that they are happy. That's what I want the most.
I am...a mother, forever. And did I mention that I'm tired?
Great post Lana! Such lovely succinct sentences that sum things up so well - soon you won't be tired but all the rest reflect who you are & that's pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteAwe Lana... this was inciteful and beautiful... I'm a daughter forever and a mommy/mama forever too. I totally get the exhaustion... I'd just live a piece of the energy I had even 10 years ago :-) ♡
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this post. It flowed surprisingly well. I don't live near my mom and have the exact same struggles as you.
ReplyDeleteI pulled a near all-nighter on Friday night, due to the skunk incident, and then was okay-ish on Saturday. Then I did sleep Saturday but got all the exhaustion on Sunday. It's strange how the day after no sleep is ok, but that the crash comes after the day after sleep, after the day after no sleep. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I get mad that my parents live a few hours away even though we're the ones who moved. I get mad that they live in one of the few states of the US that I don't like!
I really enjoyed reading this post. I'm right there with you...
ReplyDeleteDarlene
http://whosaprettygirl.com
Beautiful post and so honest. Now go rest.
ReplyDeleteThat is such a long day! While it's happening time seems to fly, doesn't it? Only when you stop do you realize how tired you are. Hope you can rest a spell now. Love that black and white photo of you and your mom. Hope the two of you have another visit planned for the very near future.
ReplyDeleteI can empathize - with your fatigue and your sentiments about loved ones leaving. I thought that was your mom in the picture with Todd! I hope the golf tournament was a success, and worth your efforts. Those days can take a toll! Get some rest!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! These type of posts are becoming my favorites because I get to know my blog friends better. Hope you get some rest my friend!
ReplyDeleteLana I feel you! I'm tired too, and looking forward to a three day weekend without my stepkids... Which makes feel guilty...
ReplyDeleteLoved this Lana! I'm tired too! Let's take a vacation! I know you hate that your mom lives so far away, maybe she will read this and decide to move back home! I've been baby-sitting the twins the last two days so I get the tired feelings. I'm hoping to get caught up this weekend since my hubby has to work some of it. The other half I plan to spend relaxing in the canoe down at the lake!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea for a post!
ReplyDeleteIt seems like I keep getting all of your posts via Bloglovin' on the same day. Weird. I don't get any for a week and then I get them all at once.
Hope you've managed to recuperate.
bisous
Suzanne
How do you spell 'Mother'? T.I.R.E.D.
ReplyDeleteThere's not a day goes by that I don't wish I could have just one more day when all my kids were little and here under one roof. Just one more day. And just one more day with my Mom. Just one. Loved this, Lana!
Hope you're rested up by now, another weekend is here! ;)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about being away from your mom. My mother is only a state away but we still go a long time without seeing each other sometimes. Love y'all's "selfie" together! :)