3/10 Of A Second

We don't always get what we want, no matter how hard we might work for it. That's life.

Sometimes we miss the thing we're striving for by a lot.  And sometimes it's only by 3/10 of a second.

My son T learned that lesson this weekend at his district swim meet.  His 200 medley relay team took fifth place, losing to the fourth place team by 3/10 of a second.  It was so close we couldn't tell who got there first until we looked at the scoreboard.

Fifth place in a district our size is a great accomplishment, no doubt about that. But the first through fourth place teams are headed to the State meet this weekend.  T missed swimming at State by 3/10 of a second.

I don't know if being that close makes it better, or worse.

Now let's add insult to injury.  The other relay team for his school, the 4 x 100, took third place at district's and is swimming this weekend at State. T's coach replaced him on that relay two weeks ago, because she wanted him to focus on his backstroke in the 200 medley.  So T will be going to the State meet - as an alternate.  Unless one of his teammates gets sick or hurt, he'll be watching from the sidelines.

Ever since cross country ended, T has been swimming three hours a day, six days a week.  He practiced throughout winter break, and gained 25 pounds of muscle.  It will be another month until he stops smelling like chlorine.  

In the end, his goal eluded him by 3/10 of a second.  As a parent, it was heartbreaking to watch, and I may have shed a tear as I saw him realize how close he had come.

But here's the great thing about this kid.  He's so much more resilient than his mama.  He was disappointed, and maybe even a little angry.  He sat by himself in the stands for awhile, thinking about the race and how he could have gone a little faster.  We left him alone.

Thirty minutes later he was back down at the pool, cheering loudly for the 4 x 100 team, and jumping for joy when they got third place.  To be honest, his father and I were still brooding.  But T's resilient - and awesome.

As a parent, it's hard to watch your child work so hard for something and fall just short.  We teach our kids that they can do anything they want if they put in the hard work and do their best.  But sometimes it's just not enough.  It's that "life" thing again.

However, this kid isn't going to let it get him down.  He's already looking forward to next year, and even if he never competes at the State level, he's happy for the experiences he's had.  He's ready for track season to start, where he'll drop those 25 pounds of muscle and become a long distance running machine.  Sure he's disappointed, but to heck with 3/10 of a second - he'll get it next year.

And once again, as has happened so often on my journey through parenthood, the student becomes the teacher, and I learn more about being a better person from my children.  You don't always get what you want - but sometimes, you get a whole lot more.