Last weekend, my hubby and I ran into a woman we went to high school with, and I was instantly transported back to 1984. She didn't like me back then, and apparently she hasn't changed her mind.
In the course of our brief encounter at the store on Saturday, she gave me a once over and a curt hello, then turned to my husband as if he were her long lost best friend. Very strange.
But even stranger was the way I immediately felt like an awkward teenager, being ignored by the popular girl.
For the purposes of this story, I will call her Sue. Sue and I could not have been more different during high school. I was the tall, quiet intellectual type. My activities included honors classes, basketball, yearbook editor, and volunteer club. I became "sort of" popular when I started dating my now hubby. He was the Ferris Bueller of our class, and everyone liked him. And if Ferris was dating me, I must be okay.
So the "in crowd" tolerated me - except for Sue. She was the pretty, petite, outgoing cheerleader. And she did not care for me one bit. At the time I had no idea why, but in hindsight I'm sure she liked my boyfriend. During high school she was rude, dismissive, mean, and always made me feel like I didn't belong. And in my teenage insecurity, I often believed her.
In all honesty, I had completely forgotten about her until last weekend. But as soon as she rudely turned away from me, I felt like the quiet, insecure seventeen year old again.
Which is ridiculous. Since I last saw Sue I have gotten a college degree, had a successful career, married my best friend, raised two great kids, and currently run a business.
I quickly regained my composure, but I couldn't get the incident out of my mind. I understand high school politics, but what makes a 47 year old woman act like that? And why would I let Sue make me feel bad again?
Good questions for my therapist, if I had one. All I know is, Ferris and I happily got into the car and drove away. And hopefully I won't have to see Sue for another thirty years.
On a lighter note, this weekend I set up an Instagram account. In my quest to lessen my anxiety, I decided to join #100HappyDays as a companion to my daily gratitude journal. Every day I'll be posting a picture of something that makes me happy. I hope you'll check it out, and maybe join yourself!
It's amazing that there are some women that still act like they are in high school. It was bad enough when you were a teenager, but now I have come to realize that they are insecure and want you to feel that way so they feel better! Following you on Instagram!
ReplyDeleteJill
dousedinpink.blogspot.com
Yay, my first follower on Instagram - thank you! I never understand people who still live like they're in high school.
DeleteIt sounds like you have built the exact life you want...why care what ANYONE thinks including this bloggers paradise of praise...look at your kind hearted kids, your loving husband and supportive family...it sounds like you have a lot to offer and share...Lana, your brilliant mind seems to be just oozing a novel...now is the time to get started...even if you have to kick and scream a little. The best things in life are hard but worth it just look at childbirth. I know I would love to buy and read any book you write. You have a voice that needs to be heard beyond a blog!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the compliment. I do hope to write a book someday!
DeleteI'm sure Sue is acting out her own insecurities. I will bet she is FAR more insecure than you or what you think. I really believe any kind of mean-ness stems from that...unhappiness. With or without your husband, you are a far better individual than she is. Don't let unhappy people put you down and cast a shadow on your own brilliance!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I'm sure she is insecure, but it was just so shocking!
DeleteShe is not a nice person, fill in word of choice! Funny how some people choose to not evolve.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh! It's true, she hasn't evolved much since high school!
DeleteIt is amazing how those old feelings and insecurities can emerge when triggered. It is also great when we know that we can evolve beyond that to take the high road and focus on the present
ReplyDeleteI was so surprised at my reaction. I definitely feel like I've moved on from that time.
DeleteMy photo in my college year book says "guess who? " Apparently, no one on the year book staff recognized me nor my then boyfriend to whom I ended up briefly married right after graduation. I attended my 10 th college reunion as a lawyer, with my 2nd husband who had also been in our class, but was more widely known, and our adorable one and a half year old son. Everyone recognized my husband, but he then had to say, "You remember Suzanne?" Most of them didn't. No worries. I've had a great life and next June, my husband of 33 years and I plan to attend our 40th college reunion (gulp). Our 1 and a half year old is now 30 with a wife of his own. I honestly feel secure in my own skin. I don't think a mean girl is going to be able to change that. In your case, clearly, the person with the problem is the still mean girl---not you!
ReplyDeleteThank you - she obviously has issues! Sounds like you have a wonderful life & I agree - who cares what anyone else thinks!
DeleteI never understand why grown adults act like that :/ There is a woman on this military base who doesn't like me because she feels I'm "weird." So she barely says a word to me. It's ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteTell her I said you're fabulous!
DeleteWell you got the Ferris, AND you married him. Go you!
ReplyDeleteShe's clearly still jealous.
Thanks - I did get Ferris! I think in high school she couldn't understand why I had him and she didn't - guess she still feels that way!
DeleteI get that you feel betrayed by your own insecurities to let "Sue" get to you still. We all have them some worse than others. The thing you gotta remember is a miserable person like that will always be miserable and never understand it. She probably blames all her problems on other people. While you got the fantastic life and the guy. Next time you see her just grab your hubby and put a big lip lock on him. Can you picture her face hahahahaha! Hope you got your alz stuff by the way!
ReplyDeleteI wish I would have thought of that :)! I got your package today - thank you - you are SO sweet!
DeleteI think all of us have some of those insecurities from high school that stay with us our whole lives if we see those people again. It's a bit tacky on her part. Obviously she didn't grow up at all.
ReplyDeletebisous
Suzanne
I'm glad I'm not the only one. High school is tough - I wouldn't go back!
DeleteOh, she must be suffering from insecurities if she's acting that way, or she just hasn't emotionally developed further since being a teen. That's too bad. I hope that she can be open to an opportunity for growth soon.
ReplyDeleteI do too. I wish her well even though I'm not sure the feeling is mutual!
DeleteHi Lana - I started to leave a comment here yesterday, and just realized I was interrupted and never finished it!
ReplyDeleteInsecurities? Envy? Poor social skills? Whatever the reason, the problem is - and always was - with her. I bet your husband is very thankful he was smart enough in high school to pick the right girl!
Thanks Susan. In retrospect, I do feel sorry for her.
DeleteSounds like Sue never got over her jealousy of you….and she obviously has never grown up. Kudos to you for still begin nice to her. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Marcia. I tried!
DeleteIt's amazing how a rude person can set us right back on our (way) post-adolescent heels! I had nearly the same experience at my 22nd reunion. When they turn away dismissively, it makes you feel . . . insignificant. Fortunately one of us had escaped high school!
ReplyDeleteI was so surprised at how quickly she turned me into that insecure teenager. But I recovered!
DeleteIt's amazing how some people just can't get beyond their jealousy or intimidation over others. I bet you don't see how you might make her jealous beyond dating, then marrying, her crush. Tall, blonde, intellectual, and dating Mr. Bueller.. Girl you had it going on and you didn't even know it.. She wanted to be you..
ReplyDeleteWow - thanks! I never thought of it that way. I'm sure she wasn't very happy to run into us.
DeleteA family friend told me that it gets better by the 40th reunion. Can you believe that? - lol! I just got Instagram too, and I really love it! I'll have to look you up. : )
ReplyDeleteJust started following you on Instagram. We have to wait until the 40th for people to grow up? :)
DeleteThose early insecurities sure stick with you, don't they? Sue still thinks she's the popular cheerleader. So I'd say you're ahead on this one.
ReplyDeleteThanks! It's amazing how long it takes to get over those darn insecurities.
DeleteI think maybe those feelings come back because we never dealt with them. Maybe you never really believed you were better than her in high school so you are just reliving your high school feelings.
ReplyDeleteIt's a feeling. It'll pass and the best part of it is, there's a reason why you don't like her if she's still acting like that after 47 years - she's a straight loser.
Visiting from the SITS SHAREFEST!! 300 more to go... :)
Have a great Saturday.
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Keep in Touch(ed),
KG
www.touchedmagazine.com
I think you're probably right! Hopefully I won't see her again for awhile.
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