The Fathering Instinct

Everyone knows about the "mothering" instinct - from small animals to humans, most mothers know what to do when it comes to nurturing their young.

But what about the "fathering" instinct?   I know it exists, because my husband has it.

For much of his life, G's father wasn't around.  His parents divorced when he was a small boy, and his dad pretty much disappeared.  Even though his mom did an outstanding job raising him on her own, G was always looking for that father figure in his life.  Through the years he turned to teachers, coaches and his friends' dads for guidance.

But he never had that main role model, his own father, to learn from.  There was no one to teach him those dad things, like how to tie a necktie, or mow the lawn, or how to get ready for your first date.  Or how to be a father yourself.

Despite this, I had a feeling my hubby would be a good dad.   G is a kind and compassionate husband, friend, son and brother.  There's nothing he won't do to protect the ones he cares about, and he loves with all his being.  

I wasn't expecting him to be this good.

From the moment our first son was born, his fathering instincts kicked in.  C was premature and required lots of medical tests in his first few days of life.  G held our tiny son in his hands and rocked him, whispering things to him while he slept, letting him know that he was his papa forever.  

Once we got home from the hospital, he pitched in changing diapers, helping with feedings and holding C while he screamed - a lot.  I'm pretty sure he had never done any of those things before - but he knew what to do.

Since then, not a day goes by that he doesn't make time for his boys.  G has guided, disciplined, counseled, and loved them.  He's taught them everything they need to know, and made sure they have all the tools to survive in this crazy world we live in.  

Now that the boys are teenagers, I see more clearly how important his presence is in their lives. I think back to when G was their age, and how painful it must have been for him to realize his dad wasn't ever going to be there.   

I am reminded every day that he is an amazing father.  G had no one to learn from or model himself after.  Not having his father in his life has made him very conscious of his important role with our boys. He's been everything his own dad wasn't, and so much more.

It must be his fathering instinct.

Happy Father's Day to all the amazing dads out there!